By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant
Even if you’ve been texting your roommates-to-be before ever meeting them and even if you’re already friends with your roommates, you’ll likely have a few surprises once you’re living in close quarters.
Moving in can make friendly acquaintances and sometimes good friends feel, well, different.
You never noticed your friend leaves little messes all over until you’re the one constantly cleaning up. All of a sudden, your roommate’s zany sense of humor becomes grating. Little mishaps like broken devices or misplaced items that were “borrowed” from you can cause friction grow into animosity.
Instead of letting this tension get out of hand, try these steps to get along.
1.Lower your expectations. You won’t get along about everything, so accept that you’ll have a few differences. But don’t compromise on anything that goes against your morals, college rules or vital personal values. If you want to set a few “room rules” discuss them with your roommate; don’t demand your roommate to follow your rules.
2. Learn to compromise. Offer to give a few concessions if your roommate will too.
3. Appreciate your roommate’s quirks. Look at your roommate’s oddities as things that make your collegiate experience unique. Try to learn about why your roommate does things or thinks things that you don’t.
4.Open up. Could it be that your roommate thinks you’re a snob because you don’t share much about your life? It’s easy to mistake shyness as pride.
5.Do something together. Get outside your room and bond over a shared experience. Creating positive memories are a great way to bond.
6.Maintain other friendships. It’s good to meet other new people and keep up with friends not living in your dorm room.
7.Air disagreements promptly. Letting hurt feelings and misunderstandings fester will only make things worse as you will start to look for all the negatives about your roommate.
8.Avoid gossiping about your roommate. It’s hurtful and will not endear you to your roommate.
9. Ask thoughtful questions and attentively listen. Most people enjoy talking about themselves, and displaying genuine curiosity may tease out what makes your roommate tick. Follow up with more questions but also remember to share a little about yourself so it doesn’t feel like you’re an interrogator.
10. Treat your roommate. A cup of coffee or slice of pizza goes a long way toward building a friendship.
